Purposeful dreams

Psalm 57:2 - "I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me." 

Without our dreams we would be nothing more than flesh and bones walking this Earth without a purpose. It is through those relentless dreams that God speaks to our souls - and dry bones are brought back to life to become a vast army of hope and of breathing expectations - answering to the very reason why they were imagined and shaped in our minds to begin with. The purpose of our lives- the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists - quite literally depends on those dreams. 

I have always found it very troubling and heartbreaking to hear others express very strong opinions about what someone else ought be doing with their lives instead of chasing after what they quickly categorize as crazy or silly dreams. And so lights are dimmed and dreams are thrown away or pushed into darkness never to speak again. The pressure of becoming who the world says we have to be will often be in conflict with that which God says we already are. 

When I was 11 years old my parents bought my sister and I a double-cassette player with embedded microphone and radio. I am ashamed to admit that I hogged that electronic device, much to the frustration of my older sister. I knew nothing about purpose at that age, but I recognized that something had ignited in me. I can still look back today and feel that feeling again - that feeling of utter conviction and unyielding certainty. I wanted to be a radio host. I started recording little radio segments using the double cassette feature, and inserted voice intros through the incorporated microphone. I started listening to music on my own now, peripherally distancing myself from that which had been playing in my parents' home in my childhood. I started paying attention to album credits and reading any literature I could find on bands and their projects. I started buying my own music, puzzling my parents with some of my choices, trying to soak in as many different sounds as I could. And then I met Chris Stevens, like millions of others who watched Northern Exposure did worldwide.

Our purpose is not self-serving. The only reason why we have one is so that we can serve others and give God all the credit for whatever magic happens in our lives - so that others can grasp the concept we finally have a hold on: that all we do, all we are and will ever be, all we need, and all we have is because of and through Him. My catalyst was Chris Stevens. Without this character, God knew I would have been lost in self-indulgence soon, seeking radio jobs to feed my ego instead of my soul. God will always find a way to redirect your steps at the smallest of signs of misinterpretation. When I was 15 and got my first real gig on FM radio, I wanted nothing more than to INSPIRE others, just like Stevens had done with me in his little KBHR shows in Cicely, Alaska. Music now had a deeper meaning, a purposeful existence in my life. When you allow those dreams to come alive, you allow God to shape your story into that which He had already envisioned for you. Only God knows what we have the capacity to become - only God has dreamed of us in such a way that we became His children through the love He feels for us, regardless of our origins, our mistakes, our shortcomings, and even our misplaced successes. All of that disappears in His presence and He will stop at nothing to bring us to the finish line, so that the very reason why we were created can be manifested for His glory only - never ours - and the purpose of our lives can come to pass. 

Unfortunately Inspiring Others is not a radio format. After years of dreaming and dreaming, pushing forward and set backs, it all came to a full stop. I needed to pay bills and all radio doors were shut. My soul grew tired of the fight. I also had moved to a country where neither my voice nor my experience matter, and it became evident, I thought, that my dreams were headed to that darkness I spoke about earlier, never to speak again. I also have a foreign accent and Americans, they tell me, largely despise those. But the thing about purpose is that it is not man-made, and therefore, man has no control over its design, its duration, or its meaning. There is also some soul training involved - because it isn't about you, it is about Him. So when we seem stuck, we are in training mode - because the more you think you have arrived, the less you understand where you were headed, and are unable to realize that you got actually lost in the maze of life. So God pulls up His GPS system and inputs a few teaching lessons ahead, and off we go, redirected - still headed to our purpose, but in a necessary detour that the Most High KNOWS we need. 

I will admit it. I was cocky. I didn't know God either. I could recognize a purpose, but I had nowhere to put it. I was feeling almost invincible for years - nobody knew about music more than me, nobody had a better voice, nobody had a better personality on the air, nobody was better than me - and my Father had to step on that break and shake me up to protect His purpose for my life - to protect me. I cannot inspire others if I cannot be humble. And what's even more important - God cannot use me if I cannot humble myself before Him.

I believe I am writing this today to hopefully light up a tiny candle in someone else's dark room. I know how it feels like to lose your dreams. I know how it feels like to be tired. And I know how it feels like to think that this is how your life will be from now on. But I also know that I was created with a purpose - a living, breathing purpose. This isn't over yet.

There is no such thing as a wasteful dream. Dreams are God-inspired and as such they are all purposeful. 

“The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out” (Proverbs 20:5)

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

“I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted” (Job 42:2). 

“Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose” (Philippians 2:12-13).

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails” (Proverbs 19:21).